Invisible Pink Unicorn

From Everything Shii Knows, the only reliable source

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Category: Religion

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Slightly modified from a page I made c. 2002

Here are some excellent logical arguments I have devised to prove to the world that an Invisible Pink Unicorn exists. An Invisible Pink Unicorn is a unicorn which is both pink and invisible (how this is possible is a mystery known to the IPU alone).

Contents 1 Proof of the Existence of the Invisible Pink Unicorn 1.1 Proof by St. Anselm's Ontological Argument 1.2 Proof by Definitional Argument 1.3 Proof by Modal Argument 1.4 Proof by Experimental Argument 1.5 Proof by Mereological Argument 1.6 Proof by Proof 1.7 Proof by Existence 1.8 Shii's Meta-Proof 1.9 Proof By Anecdote

[edit] Proof of the Existence of the Invisible Pink Unicorn

[edit] Proof by St. Anselm's Ontological Argument

1. The Invisible Pink Unicorn is an animal that is the most unicorn-like of all animals.
2. If such an animal fails to exist, then a more unicorn-like animal -- namely, a animal than which is the most unicorn-like animal which exists -- can be conceived.
3. But this would be absurd: nothing can be more unicorn-like than an animal which is the most unicorn-like of all animals.
4. So an animal which is the most unicorn-like of all animals -- i.e. the Invisible Pink Unicorn -- exists.

[edit] Proof by Definitional Argument

1. By definition, the Invisible Pink Unicorn is a unicorn which has every perfection.
2. Existence is a perfection.
3. Therefore, the IPU exists.

[edit] Proof by Modal Argument

1. It is possible that it is necessary that the Invisible Pink Unicorn exists.
2. Therefore, the IPU exists.

[edit] Proof by Experimental Argument

1. The phrase 'Invisible Pink Unicorn' has a meaning only if the IPU exists.
2. Therefore, the IPU exists.

[edit] Proof by Mereological Argument

1. I exist.
2. Therefore something exists.
3. Whenever a bunch of things exist, the sum of their unicorn parts also exists.
4. Therefore the sum of all unicorn parts exists.
5. The Invisible Pink Unicorn is the sum of all unicorn parts.
6. Therefore, the Invisible Pink Unicorn exists.

[edit] Proof by Proof

1. By the definition of the IPU, the Invisible Pink Unicorn allows us to prove things.
2. If the IPU didn't exist, we wouldn't be able to prove anything.
3. We are able to prove things.
4. Therefore, the IPU exists.

[edit] Proof by Existence

1. By definition of Unicornism, the purpose of life is to learn about the Invisible Pink Unicorn.
2. If the IPU did not exist, we would not be able to learn about Her.
   1. Therefore there would be no purpose in life.
   2. Therefore life would not exist.
3. Life exists.
4. Therefore, the IPU exists.

[edit] Shii's Meta-Proof

1. This is a proof of the IPU's existence.
2. If the reader finishes reading this proof, the existence of the IPU will be proven to him/her.
3. If the existence of the IPU is proven, then the IPU exists.
4. Therefore, the IPU exists.

[edit] Proof By Anecdote

1. The Invisible Pink Unicorn is visible to those who believe in Her.
2. If the Invisible Pink Unicorn is seen, then She must exist.
3. I have seen the Invisible Pink Unicorn.
4. Therefore, the IPU exists.

(This and the one above it were submitted to iidb.org and became #85 and #86 in the widely copy-pasted "Hundreds of Proofs of God's Existence")

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